Day and Time? - The Mitzvah Maven

The Time of the Service:

There are many decisions you can make in regards to when you will be throwing your child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah party, but your temple/synagogue might also provide you with various options as to what day and when you want to have the service.
     The majority of Bar/Bat Mitzvah services are held on Saturday morning. Yet, some congregations allow Mitzvah services to be held on Sunday mornings, if Rosh Chodesh, the arrival of the new moon, occurs on Sunday.
     Over the last several years, Chabads are springing up throughout many New Jersey communities and many of the Mitzvah families also prefer to have their Bar/Bat Mitzvah services on Sunday. This might be an advantage for your child who probably won't have to read from the Torah or learn a Haftorah segment.
     Some temples, especially those with large Bar/Bat MItzvah classes provide another alternative for the time of the service, during the Saturday evening Havdallah Service, which celebrates the sunset on Shabbat. The service tends to be shorter than the Saturday morning service and it is a beautiful affair with music, candles, and aromas wafting through the air.
     The very religious or Orthodox temples have several other options available for timing your child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah service and can often be held on days during the week.
     Check with your temple or the Rabbi directly and see what alternatives are available to you.

Timing of Your Bar/Bat Mitzvah Party

There are many options you have as to when you will be throwing your party. Most of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah services are held on Saturday morning in your temple/synagogue. You may select to have your party immediately following services on Saturday afternoon or wait til Saturday night to begin the celebration. Sunday afternoon or evening are other options to consider when selecting the perfect timing for your unique event. Listed below are positive and negative attributes of each day and time. Decide what works best for you, your child, and your guests.

Saturday Afternoon

Pros:

Guests are hungry and ready to party after a long service.

Catering halls often discount prices for Saturday afternoons. Since most weddings are held on Saturday night, they love to fill up their afternoons and will often be willing to provide you with considerable savings.

You will only need to purchase one clothing ensemble for each member of your family.

Cons:

If you are having your party not in your temple's social hall you will need to provide transportation, a bus, for your child's friends to get from the temple to the party.

You may be limited in where you plan to have your party, since it will need to be in close proximity to the location of your temple.

Afternoon parties don’t have the same ambience a night party has. Many catering halls have windows and you won’t be able to make the room pitch black, with swirling lights to duplicate a club atmosphere.

Many catering halls do most of their business with Saturday night weddings, as a result you may not be able to have a full five hour party. They will need to get you out earlier than you wish to set up for their next event.

It is not a terrific option for your very religious guests. Those who can't drive on Shabbat will probably not be able to get to your party.

Conservative and Orthodox temples will not allow you to have music or dancing until the sun goes down.

Saturday Evening: (Probably the most popular time for a Bar/Bat Mitzvah party.)

Pros:

Excellent option for the very religious who won't be able to attend Saturday afternoon parties.
You probably will not have to provide transportation for your child guests to get to the party venue.

Typically high energy affairs.
Anticipation for the party has been growing since the service is over.
Can create a great party mood by decorating the room with lights as part of your decor or from your deejay.
Alchohol is flowing, no one has to work the next day.
Time for you and your guests to get your hair and make-up done for the party.
An opportunity for a Black-Tie Affair.
Saturday night is Party Night!!

Cons:

The most expensive option time for having a Party at hotels and catering halls. Your event will be competing with weddings, which most venues prefer since they don't have to provide discounts for child guests.
There is a long break between the service and the party. You might need to consider what you will do with your guests during this time period.
You might need to provide a luncheon for your guests after services, which will add to your expenses.
Lesser percentage of your guests will show up at the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service.
You need to purchase an additional outfit for each member of your family.
Black-tie affairs tend to be expensive for both the hosts and the guests.
If you are having your party directly after the Havdallah service and the month is June or May, your party won't start til after sundown, sometimes as late as 9pm. Many of your guests will be tired and will leave before the party is over.

Sunday Afternoon or Evening:

Pros:

Sundays tend to be your least expensive option for throwing a party.
The only real competition you will have for the catering halls are Jewish weddings.
Some congregations allow the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service to be conducted on Sundays, so your guest will go directly to the party hungry and ready to party.
If the party was on Saturday, you probably won't need to provide transportation for your children's friends to the party.

Cons:

If the service was on Saturday you will need to purchase additional outfits for the members of your family.
Sunday parties don't tend to be as high energy as Saturday evening affairs.
The fact that people have to work the next day often affects their mood, lowers the intake of alcohol and leads them to leave the party earlier.

Call Bonnie Durkin, The Mitzvah Maven,
for assistance in selecting the perfect timing for your
Bar/Bat Mitzvah Service or party:
973-927-1588
[email protected]